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Why do people in love cheat? (Part 1)

Tea of the day: Citrus & Elderflower Scent of the day: Lavender essential oil


Disclaimer the following is one example. There are many exceptions and other examples. Please take from this example what resonates with you. Namaste.

Let's jump right in...


Dopamine is also widely known as the love drug. When we are in love with another being, we become so completely enthralled and entangled with their essence, everything around us shines brighter. Other people can feel the joy radiating from within you. When you are "caught up in the rapture of love" (a little Anita Baker reference for the 30 and over readers and the old souls) you are positive thinking, feeling and simply being.


Everything feels right in the world from your perspective. You feel gratitude for the gift of love. You feel special as if you are being rewarded. You feel deserving and light hearted. You feel invincible and protected from harm. You feel closer to the higher powers.( The rapture is ironically used as the term for the transporting of believers to heaven at the Second Coming of Christ.) That's what love feels like...heaven on earth. When we lose those feelings it feel like hell on earth.


As humans we have the capacity to love anything and anyone which is an amazing attribute. However, when that anything and anyone stops supplying our dopamine highs for whatever reason, we automatically lose interest and seek a new supply outside of ourselves. The cycle of love addiction followed by heartache repeats until we settle for a love pairing that eventually ends in a platonic friendship or a roommate situation. This is the programmed human routine that we have accepted as normal and safe until we depart this lifetime.


We are advised to never marry the person who sets your entire being on fire, they say a flame that burns hot burns out just as quickly and to marry the person who is reliable, supportive, caring and loyal, a.k.a. the slow burn.


Don't get me wrong, all of those qualities are admirable and provide a sense of stability in a chaotic world. The slow burn pairing is guaranteed to be far less toxic, far more safe but inevitably... predictable.

The issue is that whilst we are conditioned into routines and schedules...most of us don't actually enjoy the sameness of them in the long term.


We end up either bored or we become boring. So what does the bored one do? You guessed it, seek out the fire, the hotter the fire the better it feels because now you are reminded what it feels like to be alive in the present moment. Then the more unscrupulous ones continue to keep the stability and seek new flames simultaneously. They have convinced themselves that they deserve to have both the excitement and the stability and that keeps them in their happy space. That provides them with a sense of balance. Sounds selfish when said aloud doesn't it. They're more positive and happier and no one is getting hurt... right? A person who overuses their root chakra (sexual energy expressed through lust) is anything but a balanced individual. Being ruled by the lower pleasure centers of the body is a fast ticket to various gut and lower organ illnesses and in men, early onset impotency.


That was a lot but let's work through this.


Meanwhile the "boring" one is either so passive that they act as if they're oblivious to their partners indiscretions (denial) or their own fire has been quelled to the size of a pin point. Sometimes animosity and envy and all of the negative energy grows inside them. Sometimes the boring people also start to seek out other flames in hopes to feel something...anything. Suppressed emotions and negative feelings result first in emotional body pain and subsequently physical pain and illnesses. Your chakra system becomes blocked because you have become closed off and cold, or full of negative thoughts and feelings therefore your body can not operate in its optimal condition.


Many relationships fall apart once a cancer diagnosis or other major illness is diagnosed. The honest truth of the matter is...the relationship between the pairing had long been over. Before the diagnosis, the parts that are often unseen are self-neglect, self-doubt, depression, sadness, mental confusion, emotional distress, and loneliness. The feeling of loneliness in a pairing is one of the most devastating, soul crushing and flame killing emotions. Once you allow your flame to be snuffed out, you begin the dance with death.


We are living on a dualistic planet so there is either life or death to choose from. Positive or negative energy. Love or hate. Those are the polar opposites and all other thoughts, emotions and behaviors lean toward one polar end more than the other. There is literally no such thing as in between. Indifference is numbness and any emotion born out of no emotion is low vibrational and therefore negative.

Read part 2 for the positive solutions.

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